


Abiding Love

by GeekyGirlfriends



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: . . . more or less, Fluff, Getting Back Together, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon Cardassia, Post-Coital Cuddling, lots of cuddling and sweetness in the second chapter, mention of fathers and issues with said fathers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-03 03:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8695045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekyGirlfriends/pseuds/GeekyGirlfriends
Summary: Julian came to Cardassia to make amends. He was sure of his actions and sure of what he wanted, the only thing he was unsure of was how Garak felt about him. He shuddered at the thought of how cold Elim had been toward him after their relationship had dissolved -- he desperately hoped Elim's heart had softened over the lonely months they had been apart.





	1. A Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by this prompt:  
> Post Break Up Kiss - The kiss that catches both of you off guard, but says I miss you, I’m sorry and please love me again all at once without any words being spoken.

Julian had found his way to Cardassia. He could have tagged along with the Starfleet relief teams but, in the end, just took a leave of absence to sort everything out before tying himself down to a rather foreign planet. He had heard tell of Garak helping with a rescue unit and that he was living in a shed that had once been part of Tain’s property in Cardassia City. Julian had not been surprised. He easily found the shed Garak called home, walked inside, and sat down on the only chair Elim owned. And then he waited.

 

He had arrived there in the late morning and, at mid-day, he found himself wanting to doze in the pleasant heat but kept awake by the anxieties cluttering up his skull. He was more than unsure of how Garak would react to his presence.

 

When it came to social interactions, Julian had almost never been terribly sure of himself. He knew he seemed rather confident no matter what but, in retrospect, he always managed to figure out he had _really_ set off O’Brien or that Kira was _right_ to be offended at something he’d said. He knew he had a tendency to speak before thinking. He knew he had a tendency to act before thinking. He knew had a tendency to annoy and upset other people. His bedside manner was better than that of many other Starfleet doctors, more than a few people would call him “charming” even, but he still was not very good with people on a personal level.

 

Garak seemed to side-step all of his social fumblings. At points he seemed frustrated Julian was taking his time coming to some conclusion or another but, at the same time, he had only ever insulted Julian’s personality when he was so sick every brainwave was to be taken with a grain of salt. And, if Garak had truly felt that way he certainly would not have come back to Julian, right? Therefore, Julian could always assume that, no matter what social faux pas he had committed, Elim would always care deeply for him. Yet, he was not very sure of that established fact right now as he sat waiting for Elim.

 

It is one thing to say _The Never Ending Sacrifice_ was dry and quite another thing to, very clearly, break up with the man who had gifted you said title and many others.

 

. . .

 

The split had been unexpected but easier than Julian thought it should have been. He had been so caught up in treating casualties and so turned in on himself that he had started to miss their dates. Eventually, Elim came to the infirmary with some minor wound -- an electrical burn on his hand. Julian was not always that great at reading people but, right then, it was obvious to him Elim was pretty cross. He could not blame Garak. They bickered over his schedule for a few minutes. Or well, more like Elim did most of the griping and he countered with the bare minimum needed to volley back Elim’s comments. And then it happened.

 

“Doctor? Look at me, Julian.” He looked up from the hand that was almost completely mended. “Is this no longer to your liking?” Garak gesticulated between the two of them with his free hand. His words had had a sharp edge to them. To those unawares of Garak’s nuances, it was a flippant remark but, to him, it was emotional glass broken up and childishly hidden under a rug. It was obvious that if one stepped on it, they would be cut -- deeply.

 

His gaze was locked onto those inhumanly azure eyes and silence hung between them while he thought. As the seconds ticked away he could almost see their relationship raising a phaser to its own head. He sighed and finally got out, “Elim, I’m sorry I’ve been so distant lately. I would be with you more often if I could but-”

 

“There is no ‘but’ because, if this mattered, you would be able to make time. I don’t hold you to a strict schedule of appointments given the nature of your duties, but _surely_ in the last two months there must have been at least one day where you could have found thirty minutes to spare. _Surely_ there must have been at least one night you could have responded to my inquiries as to whether you’d like me to keep you company in bed or not. And, _surely_ just now there was more than enough time for you to give me slightly more than non-committal responses so apathetic that I would question the nature of your feelings. Am I no longer a source of entertainment and excitement for you? Have you forgotten about this crazy old ex-patriot? Tossed me into some corner and left me there like a plaything you’ve outgrown? One wonders how old Kukalaka can still hold your attention when he can’t even talk, or write you poetry, or give you chocolates.”

 

And there was the glass. He’d stepped on it. It stung. This had been a long time coming but it stung and it was like lemon juice in an open wound to imagine what _Garak_ must be feeling. His words were solid but his voice was pitched a little too high. He was extremely upset. He was not even angry per say, but rather, profoundly hurt. Julian had taken a moment to mentally kick himself before stumbling into the words, “I’m sorry. I’ve had so little time for self-reflection. I-perhaps you’re right.” He looked back down to finish healing Garak’s hand. “Maybe we should break up. I’m obviously no longer able to give you what you need.”

 

“Do you actually want to end our relationship or is that just the most _logical_ thing to do right now?” The conversation they had had several weeks ago, where Garak had accused him of being a Vulcan, crashed down over his head. If words could kill he would be dead where he stood.

 

He put his dermal regenerator away and looked Elim in the eye. “I don’t know what I want right now, frankly. Ask me after the war is over.”

 

Garak coolly stood up from where he had been sitting and rolled his shoulders in a gesture of adjustment to this new situation. “Until then, I suppose. And, let it be known I won’t make a fool of myself by extending the first overture. If you want me then you’ll have to come get me.” And then he had left, his movements stiffer than they normally were.

 

It had taken Julian months to shake the war. Months to shake it enough to realize what he wanted and the gravity of the mistake he had made in letting Garak go.

 

. . .

 

He was surprised to be awoken by the door to the small shed slamming shut so hard he was sure he heard the walls reverberate with the force of it. He nearly fell out of the chair he had dozed off in. He did not even remember falling asleep or being in any mental state to sleep so fitfully. From his chair, he looked up to see the one person he had been waiting for -- Garak.

 

He stood and found there were only a couple feet of space between them. Garak inclined his head quizzically, opened his arms, and took a step forward. “Finally decide what you want or just come to Cardassia to cut out the rest of my heart?” The words should have had bite but somehow they did not and rolled off Julian like water on a duck’s back.

 

He closed the distance between them and caught Elim’s lips against his own. It was a kiss that somehow caught even Julian off-guard and yet felt like it the most natural thing he could have done in that moment. A kiss that was sorrowful and needy and impassioned all at once. A kiss that mourned their past and begged for a future. A kiss that somehow explained the last year and spoke to how their love had never really died. After a moment he drew back to look at Elim’s face. His love was crying, big silent tears slid from his eyes and dribbled off the edges of his ocular ridges.

 

A tiny smile told Julian that Garak’s tears were those of happiness. He cradled the Cardassian's face in his hands and kissed the tears off Garak’s ocular ridges. Elim leaned into the touches. Seconds later, Julian pulled him in and hugged him as tightly as possible. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Elim. I’ll do anything to make it all up to you. Please forgive me. I’ll never leave you again.”

 

Elim whispered to him in a tight voice, “I forgive you. I forgive you for this and would probably forgive you for even worse. Just stay, dear Julian. Just stay and let me have the love I’ve so missed. Let me have you in my bed every night if only so you can hold me. Let me have you by my side to help rebuild my home on a foundation of love and trust. Please, just, _stay._ ” Garak pushed his face into Julian’s collar. Julian rubbed his partner’s back and kissed Elim’s head.

 

“I promise I’ll stay. I’ll stay forever. I’ll make sure we’re even buried next to each other.” And then, he teasingly added though his own happy tears, “Really we should probably get married or enjoined or whatever you’d like to call it.” He felt Garak smile widely against his neck.

 

“It was Tain who told me sentiment was the greatest weakness of them all . . .” Elim pulled his head back so he could beam up at Julian. “It’s a good thing we don’t have to ask him for his blessing.”

 

“I could say the same for my father.” He wiped at his eyes with the hem of his sleeve. “Now, why don’t we have some tea and really catch up? Enough of this crying and talking about fathers business.”

 

“I’d be delighted to, my dear.” Garak soundly kissed Julian on the lips, the act so fervently sweet his heart fluttered. No wonder he had come so far to make amends with Elim. No wonder he had always been so sure of how Garak felt. He vaguely wondered if it was Cardassian custom to take a partner’s last name because he rather liked the idea of being called Dr. Garak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided I'm going to add a second chapter to this (and maybe more I don't know, really). So, stay posted if you liked this chapter and want to see more.


	2. Dr. Garak, I Presume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight NSFW in this chapter -- sex is about to happen and then I skip to after the sex happened.

“You want to do _what_?” Garak wanted to express how truly ridiculous he thought Julian’s request to be.

 

“I want to take your last name, Elim. It’s really not that strange of a request.” Julian propped himself up on one elbow, pillowing his cheek in one hand so he could properly look at Garak from where he lay. They had been in a post-coital embrace when Julian had offered up his idea of becoming “Dr. Garak” as he so put it.

 

“It’s a strange request when you consider my life’s history, my dear. I hardly want to associate with my own name given the full weight of my past service to the Order. You’d be making yourself a _very_ visible target to those who don’t exactly _like_ me. You’d be putting yourself in danger unnecessarily.” Elim reached up and caressed Julian’s cheek. “I realize you like to have a bit of danger in your life, but I’d quite prefer if you’d stay away from it when possible.” He moved his hand up from Julian’s cheek to weave his fingers through the younger man’s hair. Hard aquamarines softened by fiercely genuine care looked up into Julian’s gentle hazel brown eyes. He hardly ever said it, but Garak would protect Julian to his last dying breath if that had to be the case.

 

“I do try to stay out of harm’s way (if only for your sake) but aren’t I already a target just by virtue of loving you? You’re one danger that I’d never want to avoid, and you know that.” Julian pulled down the hand that was resting on the back of his head and pressed a kiss to the soft palm.

 

Elim sighed at the tender act. “You’re far too smart for your own good sometimes. Must be all those carefully arranged brain cells of yours.” It was a small tease about Julian’s genetic modifications. Garak liked to say Julian had been “arranged” rather than “enhanced” because his genetic makeup had been specifically _arranged_ with a goal in mind. Julian was rather opposed to any talk of his genes, but Garak had never seen any problem with mere talk of it mostly because he felt Julian should hardly be ashamed of something he had no say in. Moreover, Elim only teased Julian because he had previously made it abundantly clear that he had never thought badly of the doctor for his genetic arrangement. At times, Elim often fancied that his partner’s arrangement let Julian think in ways far more Cardassian than human (much to Julian’s slight horror).  

 

“Well, these carefully arranged brain cells have been thinking that they’d like me to shed my parent’s last name. And, if I’m to be living here on Cardassia with you, it may do me well to conceal my humanity to some degree. Not all Cardassians are as open-minded as you. I’m more than sure that you’re quite aware of how xenophobic your people can be. While I’d never want to change my appearance, if I was ‘Dr. Garak’ on paper I’d certainly seem quite a bit more credible -- if only in my name.” He leaned down and kissed Elim’s brow ridge, then whispered in his ear, voice suddenly much more sensual. “Admit it, Elim. It’s in my best interest to do this and your only point of protest is a terribly _flimsy_ one.” Julian kissed and then gently nibbled on Garak’s aural scales.

 

He let out a low groan. “You know me too well, you awful man -- swaying me with seduction. Those holosuite programs clearly corrupted you.”

 

Julian pulled back. “And you didn’t? Mr. Plain-Simple 'I know when to quit' Garak?” Julian chuckled at the sight of an ever so slightly flustered Garak.

 

“Just for that, I’m going to show you how much of a corrupting force I can be.” He quickly moved his head up to catch Julian’s lips between his own and pulled Julian down onto him, rolling them over so he was on top.

 

. . .

 

After Garak had shown Julian how much of a “corrupting force” he was, they laid there in bed, lazily content with arms and legs wrapped around one another. “You like my suggestion, don’t you? You think it’s sweet.”

 

Elim nuzzled into the crook of Julian’s neck and languidly spoke, “Truthfully? Yes. That you’d want to legally take my name in spite of added danger . . . it’s really very touching. A true embrace of Cardassian society and culture. Still, a little foolish, but a lovely sentiment.” He chuckled against Julian’s neck, the richly happy sound reverberating through the both of them. “The next thing I know you’ll be talking about adopting children.”

 

Julian chuckled as well, pulling Elim closer into him and nuzzling into his partner’s hair before countering, “But I thought it was going to be your job to bring up the matter of children. I imagined you saying something about how it was our _duty_ to properly raise orphaned Cardassians. And then I imagined I would say something about not letting you show them _The Never Ending Sacrifice_ before they were adults.”

 

Elim gasped in mock horror. “And to think they call _me_ the immoral one!”

 

“Oh, don't be so dramatic. I was just joking.” He craned his neck down and kissed Garak's chufa.

 

He tightened his hold on Julian and smugly teased, “Sentimental.”

 

“It's why you love me.”

 

He felt Garak smile against his neck. “Guilty as charged.”

 

“I love you, you old dragon.”

 

“[He’nu zIra ka, _s’h’iosr’ha_ _Garak_](ksjgajldvlabkgb).”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone who actually bothered to learn the grammar and such of Kardasi, I'm sorry if I butchered that last sentence. If I made some grave mistake, feel free to tell me how to rectify said mistake.


End file.
